Insainz

Shit

I honestly don’t know how to cope with some things. I’ve got some stupid emotional disease and I can’t power through it. Take football for example, its long gone. I’ll probably never step on a football field again and I haven’t even come to peace with that. Every it crosses my mind, my heart does a few calisthenics and I quickly change the topic in my brain. And football is just an example. From my mom, to my brother, to my car, to myself, to anti-depressants and self pity. I can’t seem to grip these things and open my eyes through them and finally bury them for good. I just keep putting them off. This sounds cliche but I’m just suppressing all these shitty things until I get distracted by another thing. I don’t know what to do because I know that something has GOT to give. I know what I need to do, I just don’t know how.